Sunday, September 9, 2007

the nice guy line..

it's all or nothing when you put yourself and feelings out there on the table, when failure repeats itself each time lies a greater foul taste than the last time. when going back to the chalkboard trying to figure out what went wrong and can't find the answer it hurts even more when you can't pinpoint what you're doing wrong, in my case it's timing and my indecision to make such a decision since there is a bubble of clout over my head that i can't stop thinking of over and over as those failures repeat in my head. Yet i can tell others what to see and look out for but can't use that to my own advantage when trying to help my own cause i just don't get it, everytime seems to be of my own sabotage and i don't even know it and each time i retrace my steps i still don't have a clue on what to do to make a heart go to red instead of blue.

what it is to burn? is it a heart? is it a soul? is there something that i have to give up? what is it that you have to do to find something meaningful? whether it is temporary or eternal is another thing all together.

i just can't figure out why i hear the same line everytime i try to get into a relationship with someone it's the result and same heartache/break over and over again. i know my timing has been off in the past but this time it was different and i can't figure out why...